Transcript:
I'm so Black:
If I wore a romper, I'd sag the fuck out of it.
I'm so Black:
I've been whooped with a shoe, a switch, a spoon, an extension cord, a door -
-Bro, I think they get it
I'm so Black:
I eat chicken for dinner. And breakfast. With waffles.
I'm so Black:
I like my grits with salt (sugar)
Sugar?
-Salt?
Cheese, eggs, sausage, and Salsa.
-Salsa?
Fuckin' right.
I'm so Black:
A game of spades might end our friendship.
-Especially if you count tens as for sure books.
I'm so Black:
If you ask me Michael Jackson or Prince, I will ask,
-MJ before or after Pepsi tried to assassinate him?
The answer is still Prince. But there is a difference.
I'm so Black:
I am never late, you're just early.
CP Time is the standard.
I'm so Black:
People assume I pay child support
-Bro, do you even have any kids?
-I've never had sex a day in my life... What?
I'm soooo Black:
Whenever a Black boy is gunned down,
My mother calls me just to hear the melody of my breath crescendo through the phone.
I'm so Black that police sirens sound like Amazing Grace being sung at a funeral.
I'm so Black:
I question the motive of every white person I meet.
I'm so Black:
Most of them assumed that I wouldn't finish high school.
I'm so Black:
Becky dated me just to piss off her parents. Yes, that was her real name and yes, she was white.
-No, not all white women are bad.
Yes, we feel the need to say this, because Black men have died for less.
You look lost, boy,
look like you shouldn't be 'round here, boy,
look like you need help getting back to where you belong, boy,
I'm so Black:
When people say all lives matter, it sounds like white fragility.
Sounds like whites-only water fountains.
Like water hoses.
Like attack dogs.
Like Raeganomics.
Like the War on Drugs.
Like the cheers of a lynch mob.
I'm so Black:
That a cell phone, or a book, or a pen, or my hands,
Can all be mistaken for weapons,
Yeah, I'm Black.
So Black, I graduated from college and am nearly done with my master's.
So Black, a degree does not define me.
So Black I love hip hop, R&B, Jazz, Rock and Roll, Pop, Neo Soul, Country --
Yes, n*ggas like country too.
No, you can't say n*gga if you're not Black.
Yes, you can be big, or a little man about it.
That is your prerogative, my n*gga.
I'm so Black:
I love to long board everywhere.
I'm so Black:
I glow in the sun.I'm so Black:
You wanna be me until it's time to be me.My Black is not a monolith.
It comes in all shapes, sizes, shades, genders, and sexualities.
My Black is a mother's prayer being answered,
My Black is a father's protection,
My Black is the presence of it all,
My Black is hope,
My Black is candy after Sunday School,
My Black is cornbread and collard greens,
Kale and cabbage,
My Black is savage,
As fuck,
My Black may be painful at times,
But I wouldn't change it for all the privilege in the world.
BM